I showed my Mom my most recent blog post. Mom said that I’m being preachy. She didn’t have anything else to say about it. This bothered me because Guinever had said the same thing to me not too long ago about something else… that I’m being preachy. I took it to heart, because I do become very critical and judgmental towards the people closest to me. I wish there was an easy way to change that, I don’t want to be so.

 

 

(Guinever asks why I hold back.) Maybe it’s partly because this is the way I come across when I open my heart to my family. I don’t want to be critical of others. Yet I don’t want to remain silent either. I have been praying that God would teach me to speak to others in love and for some reason I had thought that this post was an improvement. Yes, I do not deny that it comes across preachy, I think that I sort of had that intention while writing it. But I didn’t intend to be critical of my family. When I asked them to look at it, I thought I was showing them what is coming from my heart right now.

 

 

I feel so secluded, and it hurts. I do hope that I learn the lesson that God is teaching me. Possibly I can change the wording to make it more clear… that it’s my own spiritual battle. But I was influenced by sermons which could have contributed to the manner in which I communicated in the post. It does I admit resemble a sermon.

 

 

When I talked with Guinever on the phone about it she also said that she wouldn’t have read it if it wasn’t on her sister’s blog. That hurt. Not what she said really, but the way I heard it. I was asking for her input and I’m glad she gave it. I don’t write on my blog for people other than my friends and family, I wouldn’t expect other people to care what is on my blog.

 

 

I know I should not let the approval or disapproval of others control me so. I should give it all to the Lord. As for being preachy, I do long to be able to minister to others. I want to be an encourager. I have to say that there isn’t hardly anything more encouraging to me then a good sermon that is convicting and points me to Christ. This is not a woman’s place I suppose. That place is for the Pastors, Elders, and Deacons.

 

 

What is my role in the church, and yes, in my family also?

 

 

Pray for me my dear family and friends!! I love you! Possibly an updated version of, “To The Best Of Your (my) Ability” that just speaks of my own spiritual growth will appear in the near future.

 

 

Standing in Christ’s love